Supporting a Loved One’s Eating Disorder Recovery During the Holidays

The holiday season can be a joyful time, but it can also bring unique challenges for individuals in eating disorder recovery—and for the people supporting them. Food-centered gatherings, family expectations, and holiday traditions can trigger anxiety and old habits. Your support during this time can help your loved one navigate the season safely, while still enjoying connection and celebration.

Here are practical ways to support a loved one’s recovery over the holidays:

1. Have important conversations privately and calmly

Before holiday meals or family events, talk with your loved one and your support system in private. Discuss your concerns, plans, and strategies for handling challenging moments. Being aligned reduces stress and helps create a predictable, recovery-focused environment—even amid holiday chaos.

2. Help coordinate essential care

The holidays can disrupt routines, so help them keep medical, therapy, and nutrition appointments. Emphasize that these appointments are important and non-negotiable, even during the season of celebrations.

3. Separate your loved one from the eating disorder

Use externalization of the eating disorder and remind yourself that the eating disorder is not who they are. When they resist holiday foods or struggle with traditions, see these behaviors as the illness speaking, not their true self. This will help you not take their comments, moods, and behaviors personally.

4. Stay patient, calm, and non-reactive

Avoid blaming or judging. Validate their feelings: "I can see this holiday meal feels really overwhelming right now. "Ask supportive questions like: "What would help you feel more comfortable in this moment?”

5. Validate emotions—even the ones you don’t fully understand

Acknowledge that some holiday foods, family expectations, or social gatherings might feel scary. You can say: “I can see why having dessert at this party feels hard. That makes sense given your fears around certain foods.”

6. Offer distraction-based support during meals

Gentle distractions can ease anxiety:

• play holiday trivia or a game

• chat about favorite seasonal movies or traditions

• plan a fun, non-food activity afterward

• play light games like “Would you rather?”

Ask: “Which of these would feel most helpful right now?”

7. Remove appearance- and diet-focused talk

Avoid discussing:

• weight or size

• calories

• dieting

• exercise routines

• comparisons of people’s bodies

• Comparisons of food portions

These topics, especially around holiday meals, can unintentionally reinforce the eating disorder.

8. Don’t label foods or comment negatively about eating

Avoid “good/bad” or “healthy/unhealthy” labels. Emphasize that all foods have value, and flexibility is an essential part of recovery—even at holiday feasts. Focus on connection and how food brings us together.

9. Compliment their qualities—not their body or eating

Focus on strengths like:

• kindness

• creativity

• humor

• courage

• resilience

This approach reinforces self-worth beyond appearance or food.

10. Avoid providing reassurance about weight or appearance

The holidays can increase your loved one's anxiety around appearance and body image. If asked, “Do I look fat?” or “Am I gaining weight?”, avoid reassurance that fuels the disorder. Try: “I hear you’re worried about your body. Let’s talk about what’s underneath that worry.” Or: “Let’s focus on enjoying this holiday safely and staying on track with recovery.”

11. Avoid blame and remember that recovery is the goal

Remind yourself and your loved one that the holiday season isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence, connection, and maintaining progress. Focus on supporting recovery rather than looking for causes.

12. Use “I statements” for difficult conversations

You can say: “I’m concerned because I notice holiday meals feel especially hard right now and you seem to be avoiding certain food items. Can we address this with your team? You can also say, “I’m worried about your well-being during this busy season. Can we make a plan to protect your recovery?”

13. Don’t take hurtful comments personally

Holidays can heighten stress and emotion. If your loved one becomes irritable, withdrawn, or struggles with communication, remember this is the eating disorder talking—not their feelings toward you.

14. Set boundaries while remembering it’s the illness talking

Holiday gatherings might push boundaries. Hold clear expectations around meals, appointments, honesty, and safety—without personalizing difficult behaviors. Boundaries support safety and recovery, not punishment.

The holidays can feel unpredictable, but your calm presence, patience, and consistency make a world of difference. By focusing on support, connection, and recovery rather than perfection, you help your loved one enjoy the season while maintaining progress toward health and healing.

At Home For Balance, we deeply value the power of gratitude, connection, and balance to strengthen eating recovery. Our team of experienced professionals specializes in a variety of concerns that range from anxiety and depression to eating disorders, OCD, and substance abuse in kids, teens, and adults. We take a personalized, holistic approach to addressing mental health challenges. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or looking for continued support, we're here to help.

To learn more about our services or to schedule your FREE 30-minute consultation, contact us at info@homeforbalance.com or call 561.600.1424 today.