Protecting Your Peace: Handling Body Comments During the Holidays

The holiday season often brings with it warmth, connection, and celebration—but it can also open the door to unwanted comments and conversations about bodies, weight, sizes, and food. From an eating disorder therapist’s lens, we see how a single comment made at the dinner table or during a family gathering can linger long after the decorations are put away. These remarks, even when framed as concern or compliments, can have a powerful impact on a person’s relationship with their body and food.

It’s important to remember that many people arrive at holiday gatherings carrying invisible pain and stories—of recovery, relapse, shame, loss, or ongoing healing. A comment such as “You look so healthy!” or “Have you lost or gained weight?” may feel positive to the speaker, but for someone struggling with body image or an eating disorder, it can reinforce obsessive thoughts about appearance, worth, and control, which tend to feed into their eating disorder and struggles. On the other end of the spectrum, comments like “You’re going to eat all that?” or “You don’t need seconds” can stir up intense guilt and anxiety. This is also not helpful or healthy.

Weight and body-focused comments feed into a culture that equates thinness with value and moral virtue which are underlying weight stigma, oppression, discrimination, and power differences. For individuals in recovery, these messages can trigger the very thoughts and behaviors they are working to unlearn. Even those without an eating disorder history may find their self-worth quietly eroded by persistent body commentary and diet conversations.

During the holidays, when food is central to many traditions, the pressure can feel amplified. The environment itself is emotional and layered—family dynamics, nostalgia, stress, and expectations all converge on the table. This is why sensitivity and awareness are especially important during this time.

How to Set Boundaries with Grace

One of the most empowering skills we teach clients is boundary setting. Boundaries don’t have to be confrontational—they can be simple, kind, and firm. Here are a few examples of how to respond if someone comments on your body or eating:

• “I’m focusing on enjoying my time with family, not my body.”

• “I’d rather not talk about weight or appearance today.”

• “Let’s keep food neutral and just enjoy the meal together.”

• "I'm enjoying connection and don't want to talk about diets."

Practicing these responses ahead of time can help you feel more confident and grounded if a comment arises.

If you’re concerned about a relative who tends to make body-related remarks, you might consider having a brief, gentle conversation with them beforehand or limiting them time you spend with them. Saying something like, “This year, I’m trying to keep the holidays free of body and diet talk. I’d really appreciate your support with that,” can set a clear intention.

Redirecting the Conversation

If someone starts discussing diets or bodies at the table, you can help steer the conversation to safer, more connection-focused territory. Try asking about:

• Favorite holiday memories

• New traditions or recipes

• Aspirations for the upcoming year

• Gratitude moments from the past year

By offering alternatives, you’re not only protecting your own mental health—you’re also modeling a healthier, more inclusive way to connect.

If You’re in Recovery

If you’re currently in recovery or working on improving your relationship with food and your body, the holidays may feel particularly vulnerable. I encourage you to:

• Stay connected to your support system (therapist, dietitian, friends).

• Keep a gentle routine of self-care and stay committed to your recovery goals (regular meals, rest, movement for joy).

• Offer yourself grace and compassion if old thoughts resurface.

• Remember: a thought or feeling is just a thought and a feeling, not a command you have to obey.

You are allowed to enjoy the holidays, the food, and the moments of connection—without earning it, explaining it, or compensating for it.

A Collective Shift

Imagine if we used the holiday season as an opportunity to retire body and weight commentary altogether. What if instead of noticing changes in bodies, we focused on noticing joy, effort, kindness, creativity, and presence?

From an eating disorder clinician's perspective, this shift isn’t just helpful—it’s healing.

Let’s make our tables places of safety, nourishment, and belonging. Not just for our bodies, but for our hearts and minds as well.

At Home For Balance, we deeply value connection and balance to strengthen eating recovery. Our team of experienced professionals specializes in a variety of concerns that range from treatment for eating disorders, anxiety, and depression to OCD, and substance abuse in kids, teens, and adults. We take a personalized, holistic approach to addressing mental health challenges. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or looking for continued support, we're here to help.

To learn more about our services or to schedule your FREE 30-minute consultation, contact us at info@homeforbalance.com or call 561.600.1424 today.