Listening to Your Triggers: A Therapist’s Perspective on Growth Through Discomfort

As therapists, one of the most powerful lessons we’ve learned—both professionally and personally—is this: our triggers are messengers.

That surge of emotion, the tension in your chest, the urge to withdraw or lash out—these aren’t just uncomfortable reactions to be pushed away. They’re invitations. If we’re willing to pause and listen, triggers can reveal deep insights about our unmet needs, unresolved pain, and areas where we still long to grow.

What Is a Trigger, Really?

In psychological terms, a trigger is any stimulus—external or internal—that evokes a strong emotional reaction, often connected to a past experience or unmet need. Sometimes these experiences are traumatic, but they can also stem from early attachment wounds, unprocessed grief, or even limiting beliefs we’ve carried for years.

You may not always know why you’re triggered in the moment, but your body remembers. That’s why self-awareness and mindfulness are crucial to untangling the reaction from the reality.

Why Listening to Triggers Matters

As therapists, we often see clients try to "get rid of" their triggers—understandably so. They’re uncomfortable, destabilizing, and sometimes overwhelming. But avoiding or suppressing them only strengthens their hold.

When we approach our triggers with curiosity instead of fear and rejection, we create space for healing.

• A parent triggered by their child’s defiance might uncover their own history of feeling powerless as a child.

• Someone triggered by rejection might reveal an inner narrative that they are not worthy of love.

• A person who shuts down during conflict might be protecting themselves from the pain of past emotional neglect.

Triggers don’t mean something is wrong with you. They signal where healing is still needed.

The Role of Mindfulness in Noticing and Naming Triggers

Mindfulness—the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment—is a foundational tool for working with triggers. By slowing down, noticing our body’s cues, and naming our emotions, we shift from reactive to responsive.

As Dr. Dan Siegel puts it, “Name it to tame it.” When we identify what we’re feeling, we activate the prefrontal cortex (our thinking brain), which helps calm the limbic system (our emotional brain). This act of naming and noticing gives us more control over how we respond, rather than being hijacked by the pain and urge to react.

Mindfulness-based interventions have been shown to increase emotional regulation and decrease reactivity. According to Kabat-Zinn (2003), regular mindfulness practice enhances our ability to tolerate distress and stay grounded in the face of triggering situations.

Self-Regulation: The Path Back to Center

Self-regulation is the ability to manage our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a way that aligns with our values. It doesn’t mean we don’t feel triggered—it means we’ve developed the skills to come back to center without harming ourselves or others in the process.

Some self-regulation practices we often recommend include:

• Deep breathing and grounding techniques to soothe the nervous system

• Journaling or expressive writing to give the trigger a voice

• Mindful movement or somatic practices to discharge energy from the body

• Therapeutic support to unpack the root of the trigger with compassion

When we self-regulate, we don’t bypass our triggers—we honor them with presence and care.

Triggers as Teachers

Instead of asking, “How do I stop being triggered?” I invite you to ask: "What is this trigger trying to teach me?; What is it trying to tell me?”

That openness and shift in mindset is the difference between staying stuck in patterns and stepping into flexibility and growth.

It’s not always easy. Sometimes it feels messy or even painful. But in every trigger lies an opportunity—to know yourself more deeply, to tend to old wounds, and to move forward with greater freedom and intention.

Triggers are not signs of weakness—they are signs of being human. By listening to them with mindfulness and practicing self-regulation, you’re not just surviving hard moments—you’re transforming them into catalysts for change and growth.

And as always, you don’t have to do it alone. Working with a therapist can provide a safe space to explore your triggers with support, guidance, and compassion. At Home For Balance, we deeply value the power of connection and balance to address any mental health concern. Our team of experienced professionals specializes in a variety of concerns that range from anxiety and depression to eating disorders, OCD, and substance abuse, and we take a personalized, holistic approach to addressing mental health challenges. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or looking for continued support, we're here to help.

To learn more about our services or to schedule your FREE 30-minute consultation, contact us at info@homeforbalance.com or call 561.600.1424 today.

References:

• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-Based Interventions in Context: Past, Present, and Future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144–156.

• Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child. Delacorte Press.

• Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. The Guilford Press.